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I Got Some Good News
I feel like it has been ages since I last came in here. Ooooppsss!
It’s 12.28pm here in this part of the world. I’m sitting at a cafe called Lebkov where a lot of people are having their lunch here or working with their laptops or paperworks. It’s lunch time for me too. So, I left my desk at work and came here. It’s so convenient to work in a big building, where you can have access to the public transportation, restaurants, shopping complexes or people.
While having my vegetarian Thai soup and typing these words, I enjoy looking at the crowd out there. People are passing by on this left side of the cafe to go to their destinations: metros, busses, offices, post-office, shops, gym, car parks. You name it.
In August, I was sent an eye opener by God. Since then, I haven’t stopped from investing so much for myself and for my dreams.
In September, I got myself a Mac Book Pro, 15″, the best that is available. Then I plugged-in to several trainings available online. It made my day when I got a snail mail from Sutera Harbour Hotel, Kota Kinabalu, Sabah. Screening to the bottom of the letter, I wanted to jump. It’s my dear Malaysian girlfriend, Elaine, who is also living in the Netherlands but on holiday in Singapore and Malaysia for the last 1 year plus. Attaching to the letter was a 2-page paperclips on the Harvest Festival held in England in August. It was also an honor to see my name printed there as the organizer of the first Harvest Festival celebrated officially in Europe in 2010. I couldn’t help but grinning from ear to ear for having this great girlfriend.
On top of that, I received a package from the US. I can say now that I am a proud member of International Travel Writer and Photographer. It tickled me to see a big word “JOURNALISM” printed on my card. Gosh! I have never taken any journalism courses in college. I write what I feel like writing but if you ask me technical stuff that you have learned at college, you will just get a shy smile from me. 
Ah! Did I tell you what my other September news? I guess some of you know by now through my Facebook pages.
Well! I can tell you in a different time on that. Right now, I need to get back to my initial purpose of coming to Lebkov.
Stay tune as I shall be here often especially when God is sending me His Angels to help you all out there.
Morning Sun
Morning sun
You bring the smile on my face
You make me feel beautiful
You create the energy in me
Morning sun
I can promise you one thing
I will be smiling all day today
I shall make the best of the day
Morning sun
Let our faces be cheerful
Let the world be peace
Let our dreams come true
Morning sun
You will leave soon but
You will be back tomorrow and
You will never let us down
Dark World
3rd of January. It’s the first day of the year 2011 for most of us to go to work and the kids to go to school. The metro lines are back to the normal schedule again.
However, the world over here is so dark at 9.00am. I can see a huge yellow light on my right side. I thought it was a huge fire but it’s the round yellow moon lighting the world from another side.
White snow covering the lands, trees, etc for the last few weeks are gone. It’s showering like another ordinary day except that it’s DARKER!
Cold To The Bone
8 November 2010, Monday.
It was a very cold fresh Monday morning air when I stepped out my door, rushing to the metro as I got up pretty late this morning. My excitement had overruled my sleepiness. It was not easy to go into the dreamland. My friends and my great Uncle from England and my big sis from Germany have confirmed to come in December.
So, I thought make it BIG. Rock the city. Wake the neighbourhood up. Be crazy like old time. And have FUN!
This morning, with my mobile phone, I sent out messages to my friends from all over Europe and Scandinavia. Then, I got more positive feedback. I’m all over the moon.
The cold is forgotten for just a few seconds. Then I realised that I have to take out my long winter jacket now. It’s really getting cold to the bone. But it’s ok. As I am one happy big girl.
Rhytmn of My Life
It’s Chinese New Year evening. There is not much happening at this side of the world apart from cooking, eating, watching tv and thinking. Not to mention the part of feeling sorry for myself for being away from my beloved ones back home on these special days.
The memories of my yester years came back when I went through my old photos that I took them with me during my holiday last year July. My childhood memories of moving from one place to another. My school days at 3 different primary schools and finally my secondary school. Later when I went to work and met a lot of people and then my time in college.
Life back then was not easy. From my babyhood till when I reached adulthood. Fear was the one thing I lived by. Fear of not obtaining flying colours at school. Fear of not being liked by my new classmates and teachers in a place full of strangers. Fear of having to see my loved ones (tortured) in the power of a person who was beside the person-self. Fear of losing the person I loved to someone of something else. Fear that I would turn up to be a weak creature or even worse a monster. Fear of a lot of unmentionable things.
Courage was not one of my strengths. There was no one to encourage me to do what was best. I was left to decide myself or to just close my heart for the most important decision in my supposed to be future life. Hence I lost everything. I blamed them. I blamed Him. Yet I was the one to be blamed… for lacking of courage.
One by one of the episodes came by. Erasing them from my memory was not an easy task. They liked to be played even without a permission. There was that tune and another one. A rough one and then sweet. The wind was blowing softly and the leaves were smiling happily. When I looked up, it was that bird again. So small but so free. I wished I was a bird.
I came back into the present. The reality! I looked back at some of the photos and put them to where they belonged.
This was just the rhytmn of my life. No regrets of the past and no fear of the future. Just live the present, sprinkle it with lots of love.
Happy Valentine’s day to the past, the present and with God’s will, the future. My Dear!
A Dream
Looking up at the blue sky while sitting at the veranda of my parents´ house, I felt so calm. I knew I still had things to do: finding some specific photos from my old albums. The photos of a person whom had ruled my heart from ages ago when we were still teenagers, more than 2 decades ago. But I thought the searching could wait, so I closed my eyes.
The memory of last night´s dream hit me. Why? After all these years? Why was I shown that specific face? Without words, without a smile nor a tear. The face. Why was it so calm? It showed thousands things but also showed nothing at all. I wanted to ask, I wanted to say something but my tongue was numb. I failed again. Then I turned to Him up there. “Dear God, what is the meaning of this all? What are You trying to tell me?” It was quiet. I heard nothing. The face, I couldn´t forget. It was so calm. He was calm.
I opened my eyes. I remembered the dream last night. I missed the face. It had been one and a half decades after the last episode. “How is he doing now? Does he still hate me? Does he know that I´m still alive? Does he care at all?” I looked up again. Felt like shouting but I couldn´t blame Him. I couldn´t blame myself nor him. What did the dream mean? Why did he come again after all these years? Until when would this torture end?
I looked down and saw the greens. I thought to myself, it was nothing but a dream. So, I got up from the seat and went to start looking for those precious photos of my dear one.
One Monday Morning
Good morning world,
It has been a while that I come to update you all in the morning. It’s morning indeed at almost 7 am on Monday in September.
I love Mondays. I just hate Sundays (as I have to think about waiting for another week for my little devil action) but Mondays are definitely my friends in terms of counting down the days. Not that I get to get back to the corporate world but because of a reason that only God knows what will happen.
For another reason, I am really excited to welcome another new member in the family in October. It’s either a fourth nephew or a second niece. It would be a joy to be back home and to be welcomed by this tiny sweety.
It’s almost half past 7 and I am still in n0-way can provide you with more updates. My mind is still in its dreamland but there was one special need to drag me away from the warm bed and on to the cyberworld.
Wish you all a wonderful day or night and be safe.
Blank
I am overflown with ideas but when I start to write, my mind is blank. How am I going to continue what I have already started when it does not want to work happily with me?
This seems to torture me all the time. When I’m in the bathroom, taking a hot shower or while I’m away without a pen and a paper.
At night, before going to bed, I visit my “sanctuary” (my little library also called study room) to sit down and look around. Then, I will browse the bookshelves and pick a book, randomly open a page and read its content. I’ll put it back and pick another one and do the same. Then I’ll carry one or two to my bedroom and try to read a paragraph or two or even pages. That’s when it’s not the story about a girl abducted by a gorgeous looking Highlander.
At these moments, I normally get loads and loads of ideas. But as it’s already time for bed, I’ll just switch off the reading light and start with a new journey for the night to dreamland.
