Daily Archives: October 26, 2006

To our colleague Ron M for the lost of his beloved father.

Ron always changes his phone ringtone. So, when his mobile phone was ‘singing’, he was not around to pick it up so we all laughed at the music. When he came back to his desk, I told him that his phone was ‘calling’ him. Checking the number, he said Not known. But there was a message in there so he called the caller. Once he finished talking, he looked at me and said calmly, “My father is dead”. I was shocked and still refused to accept it.

How could it be? Ron has just built up his relationship with his father again after almost 2 years of ‘losing’ contact. Only last month-end when we were busy with our month-end close, he got to see his father when a doctor from the hospital gave him a phone call telling that his father was admitted. A couple of days later his father was released from the hospital so we all were relieved for Ron.

Ron told me about his relationship with his father. His father had been ‘separating’ himself from all members of his family, including his only son. I hate to see such a bad relationship between father and son (or even mother and daughter) so I advised him to give him a call, go and see him now before it’s too late. He might be wrong but you are his son, show him you care for him. He did it that weekend and was glad that they were rebuilding up their relationship again.

Only last Tuesday Ron was telling me with a smile on his face that he had been seeing his father for 4 times now. The next day, Wednesday, his father had an appointment with the doctor to find out what he had or discuss about further treatment. Ron went straight from his home to the hospital and waited for his father to come. Unfortunately he did not show up and Ron thought his father would not want his son to be there with him or whatever excuses. With an upset mind, Ron went to work and shared with us about his morning experience. He did not call his father until that evening. But the phone was not picked up.

The next day, Ron got the phone call from the police telling him that his father was found dead at his home. He had been dead for a couple of days and if not because of his nurse (who came twice per week to help him, which was also not aware by any members of his family too, because he didn’t tell anyone), Ron would not know what happened to his father. She came that day to help him but no one answered the door, so she called up the police.

Ron, I am so sorry for what happened but you do not have to feel guilty about it. You did do your best. It’s your father who chose to live that way, closing himself from everyone. Not you.

May he rest in peace.